The debate is on in our house.... will I change my last name when I marry? What will happen with my children's names once I marry their father?
I have carried my last name with me for the past 36 years. I have passed it down to my sons, uncertain what our future held, I wanted them to have a name that they could feel connected to as I have for so long.
Unconventional is not my aim... I am not trying to prove anything... I even like Mike's last name... but feel a sadness at the thought of just dropping that part of me.
Maybe I just need to grieve, let go, accept change? Or maybe I can be a Mrs and still keep my little girl name?? I am not making up my mind at this time, but thinking about it, and wondering what it all means... to change a name.
A key consideration is that I know it hurts Mike that I would not automatically with glee want to become Mrs. "C." and that the boys are also asking what is their name's fate. He expresses this by getting annoyed and kind of put us all in our place for even contemplating the change. I knew then that this was a sensitive subject for him. I do not want to dishonour him, his family and heritage... I am proud to be becoming his wife... it is not about him at all... this is all about me (as usual, surprise, surprise!)
While it makes sense that Josh could continue to be a "W" as he has been, why wouldn't Michael's sons take his strong irish name? It is included on their Birth Certificate as I always wanted them to have the option of using it. Aidan is experiencing the same kind of identity crisis as his Mama, sad to say.
My name is not that of either of my sisters or my mother, the grandmother who I feel so close to does not share my last name. It is not like I am the only person in my family who will be different. It is the name of my father and his family has not really been all that close in my life... what the connection is has more to do with a freckled kid with ratty hair and skinned knees. She is Wowo Jeans Wedin and she wants to be recognized. hmmmmm. I am gonna keep you posted on this one.
2 comments:
you make me cry. I loved the last part. I could hear it now. WOWO. I love it. Trust me, no matter what you decide.. to many, you will always remain WOWO Wedan, as I will always be Laura Brown (despite my name change!!)
I hear you Laurel, I had to put my new Ontario driver's license under Whalen...long story, and even though I have been a "van Ginkel" for almost 13 years it is neat to see "Krystal Whalen" written down once again. If you do decide to change it you WILL always be YOU, the name doesn't change who you are,and at least Mike's is easy to spell!hehe!Love K
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