the letting go

Change number two... a major change when you have children is in the learning to let go. Wow, this was a difficult one for me. I think when I had Josh, I thought... great, look at what I now have, someone to love who will love me back and never leave me. True is some ways but so much of healthy parenting for me is in the letting go. They are born to us and then they start leaving almost right away if you think about it. The lesson here is ACCEPT it so that these little fellows have a good shot of growing into men capable of having healthy relationships. As I mentioned in an earlier post, we begin to let go when we allow our babes to move into their own room. It continues when we leave them with a sitter, return to work, bring them to school, allow them to walk to school without you, etc. Everything we teach them is to assist them along in their separation. I am continually encouraging independence in each of my 3 boys and this requires me to trust, and let them go. In turn, they will falter, get hurt, be scared, doubt themself and ultimately learn so much!!! I know this is true, I have seen my boys hurt by some of the decisions they have made or nervous to step out on their own. The very best intentions I have for my children is to protect them and keep them from harm. This comes from the most loving of places. I know that to go overboard, I risk stealing away some significant life experiences from them. I have learned that the children who I delivered to this world are their own people first and my babies second. They are supposed to jump off at some point, with baby steps just makes it easier for both of us!!