Coaching to Quit

Consider the role of a Mom. (any parent for that matter) Think about what it means to have a child who is bound to grow and make some of the same mistakes you did... who has to make their own mistakes too, in fact. The inevitability that no matter how great a kid they are or how wonderful a parent you are... it is life. Theirs. Necessary and crucial for them to become who they are meant to be. hmm.
Does it seem natural that the role of any parent would be to coax their child to go ahead and drop out, to quit??? To give permission, endorse and encourage... walking away from something of value. It is something that seems a little backward to me. But I just did it... and while a little backward... it was the right thing to do. I actually feel pretty good about stepping up to the plate and really being able to keep my feelings on the side while listening to my child and what he needs. Proud of us, I guess is what I am trying to say!
Have you ever heard the saying... Please hear what I am not saying... I think it applies.
Let me start by noting that if this were the same situation a year ago... no way would I have endorsed what I have now.... without diploma already in hand, it would be a different story!!
Let me explain... Josh has had a dreadful attendance record this term in school. He went back to high school for a post grad year while making some decisions about what he wants to do with his life... what direction he is going in post secondary. Having graduated last June, it has been a challenge for him to find meaning in the drivel of going to class each and every day... to learn things he has already learned and earn credits he has or does not need... and so for the past months he has taken the passive approach... to skip! So, not the end of the world. I sure did skip when I was in school... and his argument that he has already graduated so it did not matter... well that is just typical 18 talking. With a teen it is my thought to pick your battles... and so I just left this in his hands... let him have his adult status so I did not have to contend with constant calls from the school... and lo and behold, the kid has missed enough time to manage losing his credit... natural consequence and I would be disappointed in the school system if they did pass a kid with over 40 absences. This would only be his own wasted semester and he is sort of right, not a huge deal in the scheme of things since he has his diploma already with the exception of... how this could reflect on his college application. So... I encouraged him to drop out! lol. Not funny, and that is not exactly how I said it... but in effect, I felt if he was not into it and just done (there is the hear what I am not saying) then just be mature about it... take leave on a good note and use his time more productively. Wow. I just told my kid it was okay to quit school.
Now, that is not exactly the message I hoped to impart and I think he did hear me and what I really was concerned about. (Once he recovered from the shock that I was NOT hitting the roof and berating him but offering him some understanding and support)
This has parameters. Josh has to man up and go in to meet with the VP and do this properly. He is going to open up his availability at work and take more shifts and he is not to be livin the good life bouncin around from friends couches to here and there all of the time... the expectation that he will go to college in the fall is absolute. I am not at all comfortable with him accepting a mediocre start at life.
He is already happier... and for me, as I told him, time will tell. But I have turned a small corner with my boy. I have entered into the territory of talking with him as a young man and not the child I can make all the decisions for. We have grown up some!
The first born is where all the surprises happen... not to say each of the boys will not have their own tribulations but... it is me I am surprised with... I always appreciate how my Mom can be a parent still even as old as I am... but she has a removed kind of position... and I have taken a step in the direction of removing myself just a wee bit. Some day I hope my boy appreciates how tough this is! Wish us luck.