We Found Love in A Hopeless Place

I just found out the other day that both of my nieces "hate" this song. Not that this post has anything to do with that but it got me thinking.
I LOVE this song! I love the title. It is like my own personal anthem. I sing it constantly in my head. hmm. To each their own. But there is a truth in this that I just relate to in a big way.
To find love in a hopeless place. What a gift. So many times I have wondered if our relationship (of course this is about US!) was doomed. If it had reached the point of no return. If we could survive intact. Let's be real, we tied the knot right smack dab in the middle of upheaval, instability and sometimes chaos. Kind of our own flavour of "Hey, Schizophrenia... up yours! Take this and smoke it... we are DETERMINED to stick TOGETHER!!!!"
Time passed... life got on track, which for us, living in a home with an unstable unmedicated illness... was so far off track! But we knew little different. I have worried at times that this "hopeless place" was going to claim my partner. That it had claimed him, for there were periods where hopeless merely touches the surface of what he experienced. I could only observe and imagine. I claimed to understand... but how could I , really. Helpless place was where I lived.
We were pushed and prodded... and when I felt that our life preserver was going down... the two of us, the kids and all... something had to give. A separation was brought about as a protagonist for change... the change... to get somehow, to a hopeful place! In my heart, I wanted to bring everybody there. Never was it my intention to leave anyone behind. I was choosing life. I was choosing to teach my children that there was someone who would go to all lengths for them. In the end, it hurt the person I had vowed to love through sickness and health. (and I do love him) This abandonment further instigated his symptoms.
You see, there was no way for me to bring him to the place I thought (knew) we needed to be. I could go. I could bring the kids. But he, needed to make up his own mind and decide to find his own hopeful place. So much of our relationship had been about me doing, and him coming along... and I was essentially leaving him to his own defenses. The vows stand. The commitment is still there. But long with it, some hard decisions. Taking the risk that my best friend and husband would hate me. (well, in midst of his illness his thoughts of me were no better). When I saw that he was beginning to drown in hopelessness... something serious needed to happen. Involuntary hospitalization was the only way. Almost a year later and I can now say, I do not regret the decision I made to choose life FOR my love. Things had gotten pretty scary. Intense and void all at once. We were losing him and I thank God every day for allowing us to move through this time in our lives relatively unscathed.
We have surpassed our "7 year itch" where the illness is concerned. I hope we really have put the worst behind us. A Community Treatment Order protects my family now. My husband gets the treatment he needs, my children are not constantly in the middle of a battle ground and I am not worrying every time he comes over that I will be hurt or every time he leaves that he will hurt himself. We have a marriage like no other. Full time commitment and part time cohabitation, as if that could work... but IT DOES! For now. I would rather be with him part of the time and have it working than to be with him all of the time and none of us be happy. And I certainly do not want to have him out of our lives entirely. I did not marry the boy to be alone. I hold on to hope, and those vows and the love. Life is good. There is still a long road to recovery, and the buy in is not quite all there... but we have found love in a hopeless place. But because love is there... there is always hope.
All that from one silly song. So much writers block lately that I just gotta roll with it. Meh.